You Might Have to Walk Alone

Sign pointing in two directions

To up-level and take your friends with you is very difficult as each person has their own view of what their future looks like. It is hard enough to grow and change and keep the same life-partner let alone five. It is also important that we appreciate our friends for who they are and what they mean to us. We don’t go into relationships hoping to change people.

So, as to up-levelling and your inner-five, it is not a goal to get rid of the people around you. You will find that, as you change, some people will not fit with your new views, your new goals, your new connections, your new ideas. You, as a person, will not have changed your core ethics or morals, but you will come at them in a different way. Your friends may not or will not see it that way and you will find yourself sometimes in conflict, sometimes in wonder, and sometimes simply exhausted with the work it takes to explain.

When I was in high school, I had friends that were considered “the cool” people. They were known by most in the high school. I was not cool but they liked me anyway. They also did not aspire to the things I wanted to aspire to. They did not do as well in school and all of them were only focused on grade 12 education. I, on the other hand, was in the academic stream. I loved the sciences and maths, and I did well in them. I was going to grade 13 and university. This made me feel equal to them (I’m not cool, but I am smart). As I started my work in high-tech, my friends and I went our own ways. No one had to say anything nasty or hurtful, we just did our own things independent of each other. We still see each other, and laugh about our shared past, but we don’t work together towards our future goals.

To truly reach a new level that you have not been at before, you must travel with people that want to go there, be welcomed by people that have made the trip, and be understood by people who are open to the idea of the journey required. If your current friends are not willing to walk with you, not already on the path, and not understanding of the possibilities, then you will simply find yourself spending less time with them. No apology required. You are walking different paths in life and that is OK.

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